


Don't Know Where We're Going, But We Know Where We Belong

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Bottom Louis, Break Up, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Post Break Up, boys being stupid, harry and louis being dumb, its only implied - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-31 01:23:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10888893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Louis and Harry love each other. Just not the way they used to.





	Don't Know Where We're Going, But We Know Where We Belong

**Author's Note:**

> I love larry. I swear I'll write more and it'll be less angsty.

The house in Colorado had always been Louis’ favorite. It was small, with one bedroom and a bathroom and it's nothing like the houses he lives in when he's in big cities. That's not why it's his favorite. 

It's his safe space. He can do whatever he wants here,  _ be  _ whoever he wants and no one can hurt him. No one is allowed here except him and Harry. It's stupid since they've been on and off for years now. They bought it when they were stable and that seems like ages ago.

 

They're off right now. They've been off since June. It's been seven months and everything feels so empty, so unfinished. It always feels that way when they break up. Louis thinks it's different this time. He thinks they're broken up for good.

Louis was there when Harry arrived last night. They hadn't planned it. Louis doesn't know who moves first, but they kissed like they were starved and now, it's nearly one in the afternoon. They're still in bed. 

 

Harry's fingers are running over Louis’ face, tracing over his jawline and thumbing over his cheekbones.

 

Louis’ eyes open slowly, voice soft and slightly gruff with sleep, “Do you love me?” He asks. Harry's fingers stop dancing along his cheek, and it's enough to break Louis’ heart. Harry hums in thought and runs his thumb over Louis’ bottom lip.

 

“Don't be dumb. Of course I love you,” Harry answers. 

 

It's vague. Louis’ question was vague, so he shouldn't complain, but he wishes he had more. He won't complain. Harry loves him. It doesn't mean they're on again; he doesn't even know if they're off anymore. 

He just nods. “Yeah, yeah okay.” He mumbles. 

 

Harry kisses him and then gets up to make them food.

  
  
  


Louis doesn't feel good. Not in a sick sort of way. He feels  _ wrong _ . Being with Harry in this house has always been special. It doesn't feel that way now. It feels like they're dancing around it, like everything is being avoided and Louis fucking hates it. 

When they broke up last time, it had been big. There was screaming and throwing things and Louis remembers flying to London in those next few hours. It was awful. The worst part is that he can't even remember what they fought about. And now they're here. They're sitting on the couch, after being holed up in the house for three days, with Louis’ head in Harry's lap. It's driving Louis crazy.

 

He doesn't know what they're doing or what they  _ are.  _ Harry's pretending things are okay and they aren't. Nothing is okay.

 

“What are we doing?” Louis asks abruptly, sitting up. He's aware he cut Harry off and that annoys the shit out of Harry. Louis knows a part of him did it on purpose.

 

Harry looks at him, hands folded in his lap. “We’re watching television.”

 

“You know that's not what I mean,” Louis retorts, eyes narrowing. “We weren't supposed to be here at the same time. We  _ fucked  _ as soon as we saw each other. We’re broken up, Harry, this isn't-”

 

“It isn't supposed to happen, right? Because the almighty Louis has a plan for everything and this wasn't in it, was it?” Harry bites out, shaking his head.

 

“Letting my ex fuck me wasn't really my plan, Harry, no. This isn't normal, and it's not healthy. We need to talk about this.”

“That's what we’re doing.” 

“This is arguing.” 

“Well, that's just a normal conversation for us! When aren't we arguing?” 

 

It's silent after that for a minute. Louis is trying to figure out what the fuck to do. He doesn't know what to do, so he gets up and goes into the bedroom. He doesn't know how to fix this, so he starts throwing his clothes into the bag he brought with him. It doesn't take long for Harry to show up in the doorway.

 

“You wanted to talk and now you're leaving.” He says dryly. When Louis continues packing and ignores him, he speaks again. “That's very original for you, Louis. Y’know, leaving and all. I would've never guessed you would-”

 

Louis somehow manages to shove clothes into his bag harder, “I wanted to talk about it, but there's nothing to talk about obviously. We’re done and that's fine.”

 

“We’ve been done for months.” Harry points out.

 

“Then why are we still doing this? We keep getting back together only to fuck each other up and I can't do that anymore.” Once it's out, Louis doesn't feel good about protecting himself. He doesn't feel any better, but he keeps going and he can't stop himself. “It's childish and I don't  _ want  _ to keep hurting. I'm so exhausted and we've been doing this shit for years. We need to stop at some point.”

 

Louis really doesn't notice his shoulders shaking with sobs and his throat burning furiously until Harry's wrapping his arms around him. Louis is able to catch his breath and calm down quickly. It reminds him of why he was able to call Harry home for so long.

They end up in bed again together, legs and fingers intertwined.

  
  
  


After their fight, there's no more attempts to “talk”. They're done trying and both of them know they are. The next few days are filled with desperate touching and bruising kisses. It's not romantic. It doesn't have to be, it's a form of a goodbye. 

 

The room smells like sex. Harry wanted to open the window, but given the fact that it's fucking snowing, Louis nearly kicked him out when he tried. 

Harry's fingers run through Louis’ hair gently, scratching at his scalp every so often. “I love you.” He whispers.

 

Louis hesitates. He wants to say it. He really wants to say it back. So, he does, “I love you too.”

 

Harry's leaving tomorrow though. Louis knows that. He never had a plan when he came here. He was just gonna stay until he felt relaxed. He doesn't know when that'll be though now. They're so fucked up, they have been since the first break up and he wishes he could go back and just  _ fix it _ . If he did that, he's sure they'd be okay now. They'd have never broken up. That's not the way things are though. They've grown into different people and maybe they still fit together somehow. But, Louis doesn't know if it'll ever be the same as what it was. He hates not knowing.

 

Harry's thumb rubbed across the inked skin on Louis’ chest. He stares hard at the tattoo there for a minute and then says, “It is what it is.” 

 

Louis doesn't ask him why he read it, or why he even said it. He understands just fine. 

_ It is what it is. _

  
  


Harry stands outside on the doorstep, bag slung over his shoulder. Louis’ eyes are misty, and he can tell the shiny look of Harry's eyes aren't just from allergies or whatever shit excuse he's given him.

 

“So, we’re good right?” Harry breathes out.

 

Louis takes a good look at him. He doesn't know when the next time he'll see him will be. He doesn't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing right now.

 

“Yeah, we’re good.” Louis confirms. 

They aren't.

 

“I love you, Louis.” 

“I know.” He answers.  

 

He doesn't look up to see the look on Harry's face when he doesn't say it back. It's for the best. They both know that. 

 

Once Harry's car is out of sight, that's when Louis goes back inside, locking the door behind him.

  
  
In May, there are three songs about Louis on Harry's album, and even more that just didn't make the cut. Louis should know. Harry went around and sang them to him himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading !!(:  
> Twitter: @iouisingucci


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